The core experience of living with parental alcohol misuse or parental domestic abuse is very similar for many children and young people. › See relevant pages of alcohol and domestic abuse sections.

We also know that living with both parental alcohol misuse and parental domestic abuse can bring cumulative disadvantage, with these children and young people at increased risk for a range of problems. Living with two such unpredictable behaviours can create a climate of mixed emotions for many children and young people; such as confusion, uncertainty, anger, sadness, embarrassment and fear. It can be hard to understand what is going on at home as the relationship between alcohol misuse and violence, for adult perpetrators and victims, is a complex one.

Parental drinking can make it more likely that violence will occur. Worryingly, adult victims of violence are also at increased risk of problem drinking themselves as this is often used as a means of coping with the violence. Further, drinking by the victim can increase the likelihood of a parent being a victim of domestic violence or abuse. However, it is far more common for the perpetrator than the victim to be drinking at the time of the violent or aggressive incident.

It is also the case that children and young people can offer suffer more, or be at greater risk of problems, where violence is present on its own or alongside problem drinking. A major study of a group of adult children who had grown up with parental problem drinking, found that these adult children were more likely to recall incidents related to arguments, fighting and violence than about problem drinking itself. The authors of this study said that, “….Violence [is] a mediating factor in determining the extent that children and adolescents are affected by parental problem drinking….” (p131).

An American study of 300 University students in the United States found that experiencing abuse and witnessing inter-parental violence were more predictive of both depressive symptoms and aggression than was growing up with parental alcohol abuse. The study also highlighted differences according to the gender of the parent or the child and the nature of the abuse (with emotional abuse posing a particular risk), and the importance of positive parent modelling behaviours. Another study of the psychosocial adjustment of children living with a drug abusing father [nearly three quarters of whom also misused alcohol] found that male to female partner violence had the strongest negative impact on children’s functioning.

Children and young people are often encouraged to keep secrets (often related to the alcohol misuse and violence itself), be secretive or lie (e.g. about injuries), and to not talk about the problems outside of the family. This can make it extremely hard for children and young people to approach family or services for help. Fear of reprisal from services can make it equally hard for parents to ask for help, even when their children are at risk or in danger.