What can I do?

Introduction

This section of the website is an overview only. Please look at the Resources section, other areas of the website, the ENCARE page or website for your own country, and key organisations in your country for more information.

To find out more about identifying children who are living with parental domestic abuse and who may need help, you can find out more about common signs to look out for, and ideas of how to talk to children to find out if they are living with parental domestic abuse.  Read more

Children who disclose to professionals that they are living with abuse should always be listened to and believed. - Humphreys & Mullender, undated p3.   

Children want to be listened to, to be taken seriously, to be told what is going on and to be involved in decisions. Humphreys & Mullender, undated p20.

When you can’t express how unhappy you are you learn not to bother……you stop trying. Saunders, 1995 p8.

I wasn’t even aware of having any rights. -Saunders, 1995 p8

I used to smile so that people wouldn’t know. -Saunders, 1995 p8.

You get through it by yourself, but it would be nice to have a bit of help because it’s hard work on your own. Saunders, 1995 p28

Children are an integral factor in the mother’s management of their abusive relationships. For more than half the participants in a research study, something the children said or did catalysed the woman into seeking help. -Zink et al., quoted in Mullender undated p2.